About Analyst, SC43 Reader evaluated scripts and gave notes on projects for several film production companies, including Blumhouse Productions (Get Out).
LOGLINE A schemer and his daughter find out they are the offspring of a powerful African king, which sets in motion a dangerous struggle for power.
Throne is a funny and lively film that is undeniably entertaining…
Because of your considerable amount of references to African culture, there is a freshness to the script… As soon as Ajeem, Orchid, and Abayomi arrive at the royal palace, I felt quite involved and entranced in this world.
Ajeem’s source of addressed conflict is entirely external, and revolves around his rightful assumption of the throne… I found him to be a somewhat compelling character because of his underdog status… The sort of traditional rags-to- riches transformation he undergoes makes him an idyllic figure.
Timmi and Garcelle are an entertaining pair of snake-like charlatans. They are clearly villainous and lack morals… I tended to like this element, because, at first, Ajeem seems like a sort of antihero because of his own transgressions, but the intense negativity of Timmi and Garcelle make Ajeem seem heroic…
Abayomi is a strong young woman and a good representation of a female (in fact, you have a lot of strong representations of women in this story)… I thought her role was pretty strong and that you do not really need to go into more depth than you already have for her characterization…
Orchid has the role of the shrewd and strong mother who doesn’t take any crap… I think she is presented well and I like how you play off of her bitterness toward the retired king.
Giselle is an interesting characterization in that I found her to have a surprising amount of layers… At one hand, she is the love interest of Ajeem, and on another hand, she has a very prominent role in the palace…and on a third hand, she is the leader of an incredibly strong group of women who are disguised as servants… In a way, I found her to be the most dynamic character from the bunch…
PLOT & STRUCTURE:
This is a well-structured script and I cannot deny that… You grab my interest with Orchid’s reveal in the first scene while simultaneously making me emotionally invested in the family because of their dire medical situation… Because of this initial orientation, I root for Ajeem’s success because it feels like a big “opportunity” for their lives.
MARKETABILITY: LOW / MEDIUM / HIGH The MPAA rating for this script would be “PG-13”. Given the success of Black Panther, there may be a lot of interest in this script if the right cast were attached… As mentioned before, the more you can zero in on specific cultural elements, the better.
The biggest hurdle you have is improving the dialogue… Also, really consider the *ending and adding more personal intentions to Ajeem and Timmi’s characters. GOOD LUCK! I hope my notes were helpful! This was a very interesting project to explore and I wish you the best with it!
(*Dear WeScreenplay the ending by design is an intentional cliffhanger. THRONE is the first installment, part 1, of a franchise. Nevertheless, THANKS for the great analysis! I will utilize the excellent suggestions before filming. -CD Newton)